There it was, cold hard proof. I stared at the stick in disbelief, two straight pink lines. I felt both excitement and terror. It's exactly what we wanted, we had been trying for years but how could I possibly be?
Jimmy has always wanted a family. Even before we were married, before we were engaged, he wanted to stop "preventing". I on the other hand knew we needed to at least be married! Even so, I was seized with fear. I knew marriage alone simply wouldn't make me ready. I was hesitant for dozens of reasons. One being money-others for more selfish reasons. Right up to the wedding my plan was to wait a year, enjoy married life, then start trying. I could tell you the exact moment those plans went out the door but all I will say is that it involved a hot tub the first night of our honeymoon in the beautiful Bahamas!
That night the pills went into the garbage and I just knew we were heading down a path we weren't ready for. I told Jimmy be careful what you ask for because I thought I would be pregnant within months. I was definitely right about not being prepared for what lay ahead, dead wrong about when we would be expecting. That night in the Bahamas was three long years ago. I felt something that night- call it intuition or maybe it was just hormones- but I knew regardless of when it happened, starting a family and even more so, making Jimmy a father, was going to be the most beautiful and rewarding experiences of my life.
Noelle-isms
8 years ago
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